我的行为,不代表我 – 4.28 T-Group 收获


用冰山模型来解释,我的行为只是我冰山之上的部分,我有更多的,冰山之下的部分,驱使我的行为。

因此,冰山之上的行为,并不是我的全部,并不是我。

甚至,整个冰山,也并不是我。

我的行为,有很多是潜意识引发的行为。比如应激反应。这些很有可能跟我的童年经历相关。如今我已成人,但一些潜意识,一些limited belief仍在。

这些潜意识是我的一部分。有一些,在我不知觉的情况下,保护着我;有一些,会阻碍我实现我目前的目标。

有一些潜意识,是我想要摆脱的。所以,它最终会不属于我。

谢谢它曾陪我走过。


行为,也是人和环境,共同作用的结果

Behavior = f(Person, Environment)

我的行为,并不是我。让“我”和“我的行为”得以分离。让“我”,更可以更改我的行为。

The phrase “I am not my behavior” suggests a distinction between a person’s actions and their identity or self. Here are a few key points to help understand this concept:

  1. Separation of Actions and Self: The statement implies that the actions one takes do not necessarily define who they are as a person. It recognizes that behavior can be influenced by external factors, emotions, or specific circumstances, which may not truly reflect someone’s core values or identity.
  2. Potential for Change: By dissociating identity from behavior, it acknowledges that people can change their actions without changing their fundamental self. This is a hopeful perspective, especially in contexts like therapy, personal development, or rehabilitation, where changing harmful or undesirable behaviors is a goal.
  3. Responsibility and Growth: While this phrase can suggest that one’s self is separate from their actions, it doesn’t imply an abdication of responsibility for those actions. Instead, it can encourage a more objective evaluation of one’s behavior and foster growth and improvement without harsh self-judgment.
  4. Compassion and Understanding: This perspective can lead to greater compassion and understanding, both for oneself and others. Recognizing that a person is not solely their actions allows for a more nuanced view of human behavior and the factors that influence it.

This concept is particularly relevant in psychological contexts, where it is important to treat individuals as capable of growth and change, rather than labeling them based on past actions or mistakes.

如果我的行为不是我,那么什么是我呢?我是谁?我的身份是什么?

  1. 我的价值观/信仰
  2. 我的人生经历
  3. 我的社会角色
  4. 我的性格
    1. 内向/外向
    2. 厌恶风险/拥抱风险
    3. 回避冲突/直面冲突
    4. 给予型人格/接受型人格
  5. 我的兴趣/爱好

等等,共同塑造了我的身份。


这世界上有5%的人,会去思考人为什么活着。剩下95%的人,就是活着。

95%的人,会活得很自在、懵懂、自得其乐。

5%的人,苦苦思索,又分为五种表现。

一,自杀;

二,抑郁;

三,反社会;

四,带领95%的人,改造社会;

五,想通了,行为上,表现得和95%一样;但内心平和,身体通透。


我曾经极度想去上coaching课。

其实我的底层需求是,获得内心的充实。

修炼的法门上万种。coaching只是其中之一。很庆幸,我找到了我喜欢的:T-Group,冥想,与人深度对话。


现在的我,觉得探求人生的意义不再重要。

其实意义,和价值相同。

我活着,就是我的意义。

我活着,就是我的价值。

ChatGPT

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewin’s_equation

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symbolic_interactionism

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